This is a race-related post. No, not “race” as in “competition”, but “race” as in "ethnicity".
I would have liked to leave it out of my blog, because I know many of you don’t really like to read about these things, but I need to get things that have happened off my chest, and besides, if you have any advice or views, and would like to leave a few comments at the end, that would be much appreciated.
I am Chinese. I don’t feel particularly ecstatic nor ashamed about it. That’s just the way it is.
Part of my work involves going to different schools. At these schools I am astounded by how rude kids can be.
“Dee-Vee-Dee! Dee-Vee-Dee!”
“Jackie Chan! Haaaaai-ya!”
“Ching Chang Chong ya yor” (and other nonsense syllables)
Today since I leave later for work I walked out with Wifey to the bus stop around the corner. If we see a group of people walking towards us (and we did), we normally start running, because it means a bus has just arrived and might be about to pull out.
One eleven-year-old girl from this group of three kids starts chanting “Run, Chinaman, run! Run, Chinaman, run!” I turned back and challenged them, and of course they ran away.
I put up with this on a fairly regular basis, but I was sorry that Wifey, who is white, had to see it first-hand.
We’ve spoken about it before, and Wifey is of the opinion that people should always stand up for themselves and not let these remarks go. Her view is that it speaks badly of your self-respect if you allow others to do that to you.
My stand is that sometimes (as today) you stick up for yourself, but sometimes you have to let these remarks go, because trying to deal with it may be a complete waste of your time.
Yesterday while leaving a school a group of about ten seventeen year-olds were all congregated outside the school gate. One or two sniggered, “DVD! Four for £5” behind my back when I was about thirty yards away.
I let that go.
Why are these remarks such a big deal? Am I merely being overly-sensitive?
Let's put it this way. Want to stereotype a Chinese person as a DVD seller? I don't go around thinking black boys are illegitimate children whose fathers are in jail for drugs and gun-crimes and whose mothers have several partners. I don't look at Arabic boys and think "suicide bomber".
I must admit, I let such incidents go when the perpetrators are in a group. Not because I fear facing up to a group, but because the idiots that say such things want the attention of their friends, and I feel that if I did confront them, I’d only be playing into their hands. I’d be giving them attention, trying to talk some sense into them, while they give me the Beavis/Butthead snigger, and enjoy the attention of their friends. And my time is too precious to me to be wasted like that.
I let such incidents go because I know I cannot talk sense into such people. You cannot expect to correct years of inbred, warped thinking in a single instant. You try to tell kids to be the best they can be, but all they’re interested is being bad; notoriety.
I let such incidents go because people who say such things always invariably talk to the back of my head, instead of saying it to my face, and when challenged to stand up for their views, they reveal themselves to be the cowards they are.
I see it as social evolution. People are always trying to prove themselves better than others. “I have bigger muscles than you.” “I am prettier.” “I am richer.” But when people try to get one up on me by merely stating the obvious – that I’m Chinese – that says more about the lack of their own qualities. People who say such things show themselves to lack self-esteem.
I let such incidents go because I know (in schools, at least) such incidents will be brushed aside, and senior management do not want to waste their time pursuing these. You write a letter to a school, it gets buried or tossed. I once walked by a class and someone said "Fucking Chink" to the whole class, and the teacher pretended she didn’t hear it. Too much hassle, filling in the relevant detention forms.
Still, I can’t deny it annoys me, and sometimes preys on my mind. And I’m starting to get irritated (I would like to say “f***ing p*ssed off” but that wouldn’t be nice).
To those of you with kids, or are involved with kids in your work or life, my hope is that you bring them up not to display such behaviour. Not
just because it is wrong. But also because when an individual says things that are racially-motivated, it speaks volumes about their own lack of upbringing, the lack of achievement, and ultimately, their lack of self-respect. Why would anyone want to act like that, and make people think less of them?