Ramblings, part one

I’m off work today to wait for the sofa that we ordered twelve weeks ago to arrive. At the point we placed the order, we were assured it would take “six to eight weeks”. After that time frame, we were offered further excuses, such as “item not in stock, but there’s a new batch in two weeks’ time”, “it takes eight to ten weeks from the point that the manufacturer processes the order”, “the manufacturers only processes the order in mid-September when they reopen”, blah blah blah. Excuse after excuse, and six/eight became twelve. If only that theorem applied to my bank balance. Why weren’t we told the last reason in the first place?

I know that if a salesman was truly honest and told someone it would take up to twelve weeks for an item to arrive, chances are that the person wouldn’t buy it. This sort of lying doesn’t agree with me, and I’d rather be brutally straight with someone, but it seems to be so endemic and acceptable in society. We’ve all encountered it and can easily quote the excuses people give us, as well as the ones we tell.

I see that sort of thing in schools as well, white-lying twinged with over-protectiveness. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s important to encourage children and teenagers, and when they take time and effort to produce something, we should encourage the effort even though it might not be up to our critical standards. But I’ve often seen students turn in substandard work, with little effort put it, only for the teachers to say “that’s good” for fear of permanently emotionally scarring the child. Even “coursework” which is unacceptable – does it take two years of class lessons to illegibly handwrite a substandard one-page essay? – is given a “good effort” comment, even when it comes from someone who could have obviously done better but couldn’t be bothered to make the effort to do so. What does lying do in that context, except teach someone that it is okay to make substandard effort because the goalposts will always be moved to accommodate you, that it is okay not to strive, because society will lower itself to meet you?

I also once had a student who believed she was Alicia Keys reincarnate (okay, so Alicia Keys hasn’t died, but you get the idea). This student would refuse to learn how to read music, and for about six weeks insisted on playing only songs she had “written”. She would sing them, off-key, and then smear (yes, smear, C-C#-D-D#-E-F-F# all at once) her hands on the piano for accompaniment. On the seventh week she wanted to play for me “Puff the Magic Dragon”, which she did in her usual style.

Me: “Now try that without the singing. Listen to what you’re playing.”

Student: (Smears keyboard.)

Me: “Is that the tune for Puff the Magic Dragon?”

Student: (nods) “Uh-huh.”

Me: (in a very kind tone of voice, almost contrary to the message) “No, it’s not.”

I’ve probably skewered someone’s musical ambitions, but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade. The truth sucks.

But I digress…

Yesterday evening it was back to weights. I did 3 sets of 15 of bicep curls fairly quick, then lowered the weight and did the 10 seconds concentric / 10 seconds eccentric thing for another two sets. The weights I use are fairly light – in fact, they were the ones the Mrs had when she was in her teenage punk phase. You know the ones – “executive dumbbells” that office execs in ties supposedly lift in their privacy of their offices while reading “Total fitness in 1 min a day!” books. The mini-weights seem to work better for me than the big uglies. In any case, I am too much of a cheapskate to spend money on equipment. A weight is a weight. I’ve curled briefcases, squatted bags of books, deadlifted beds. The Mrs also kindly agreed once to be piggybacked for me to do calf-raises. I said “What a workout!” That’s the last time she volunteered.