# 35

Ran 4 miles on Sunday morning. Did the first 2.7km (1.678 miles) in 11:20, then the next 2.7km in 12:00, and then went up to the 4-mile mark as fast as I could. Given the occasional side-to-sides to avoid dogwalkers and other obstacles, I am tempted to claim that I ran a bit extra and covered 4 miles of ground under 28 minutes - but I won't. I'll leave that as a mark to aim for in the future. For now, I'm satisfied with having run four 7-minute-miles.

Did some free squats, calf raises and hamstring curls in the evening. I'm intending to do a few easy runs this week, no more than 5 miles at 7:30 pace.

My colleague Mike emailed everyone in the department some jokes - yes, that's Mike who's been ill with the winter vomitting virus. Mike, it's not good, on a day you're supposed to be off sick, to be seen to be emailing everyone bad puns. But these are funny, so I'll share them with you.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

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Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. The Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

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A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

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Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom!

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So I went to the dentist.

He said "Say Aaah."

I said "Why?"

He said "My dog's died.'"

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.

It's either my mum or my dad.

Or my older brother Colin.

Or my younger brother Wong Fei Hong.



I think it's Colin.

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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.'

And I swerved into a tree.

A policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?'

"I careered off the road."

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one and let the other one off.

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A man walked into the doctor's.

The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time "

The man replied "I know, I've been ill."

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Phone answering machine message - "If you want to buy marijuana... press the hash key..."

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My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

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I went on my own to a seafood dinner-and-dance party last week. I pulled a muscle.