Plenty of ranting in this one

It’s been a bit of a strange week, really. And I’m not talking so much about the lack of a computer than about the events of the week. On Wednesday I spent the afternoon lamenting the fact that London had been awarded the 2012 Olympics. I can hear the shock and screams of surprise – “WHAT!! Surely it’s good news to you, Mr TryAthlete!” The sporty (if you can call it that) bit in me is delighted, but the cynic resents the inevitable tax hikes exerted on Londoners in order to pay for the Olympics. If the scrooge in me is going to be forced to cough up money, then it’d better be for a good cause, like to alleviate poverty in Africa. It’s strange really – last weekend we had the Live8 concerts and a blitzkrieg of TV ads and programmes highlighting poverty in Africa. “Just £1 will pay for medical treatment for a week for an Aids sufferer.” Then what happens? “Oh, screw it, we’ll make every London household contribute £240 to pay for 16 days of games.” Somebody do the Maths. Helping to alleviate a lifetime of poverty and suffering, or 16 days of sports? Much as I like my sports, I’d rather have used the money more wisely. I guess when the emotional talk about helping Africa dies down, people return back to their normal ambivalence.

All these talk of Olympics, of course, pales in comparison to the events of the past 24 hours. Yesterday while at work I had a call from Kate to see if I was OK, and informing me about the tragedies. 4 bombs, 3 on tube trains, and one that blew out the roof of a bus. The death toll is still mounting and even as I type this, the day after, they’re still talking about dead bodies that need to be retrieved from the tunnels at Kings Cross, from where I take the train to teach in Bedford. I'm relieved I wasn't anywhere in the vicinity even though I live in London, and thankfully Kate had got off the tube and got in to her school before the bomb on that first train went off. I'm angry - angry at the people that did it. I can imagine the people who were responsible. They must be monitoring the news closely and thinking "Yes! We did it!" How they perceive themselves to have done something good befuddles me, but these sad nut cases must find some perverse joy in causing trouble and chaos. At the same time I feel for those who have lost a loved one, because I know the tears could have easily been mine.

The mood today is one of calm; people walking about with the awareness of the previous day’s events, going about their daily activities, but without unnecessary panic. People are saying we need to return to normality and we seem to be doing well at it – but how much of it is really ambivalence? Somehow, I feel that in a few days time, rather sadly, unless you’ve known someone who was tragically hurt, or that you were personally involved, everyone slinks back to ambivalence. "Getting on with things" is our way to mask our ambivalence. How much of the "resilience" and "resolve to get on with things" is "can't be bothered?"

Yes, I did forewarn you I'd be ranting a lot in this post...

Weather's been rainy these past few days and cold by summer standards. I'm still doing my laps around the park and weights and all that, but I'm turning my focus to the months ahead, especially winter, and thinking about how I am going to get some cardiovascular work done.

I'm moody, as you can tell. I did 5 rounds around the park today, but I've still got plenty of anger, mental energy, whatever-you-might-want-to-call-it to burn, so I might return for more. Return to the park and do my laps, try to find that place in my mind where there's some semblance of inner peace in the rhythmic sound of footstep after footstep.